The Truth Lies in the Gray ~ Tommasina Marlow Lash

The Truth Lies in the Gray

As I began my path of Peace activism, I naively found myself bewildered by how many folks do not want to talk about Peace because it is "political." As a mom with kids, I cannot imagine wanting anything for the world but Peace. I have always been a peacemaker and a lover of Peace. But, having children stirred something deep inside me. I looked at the world I live in in a different way. The seeds we sow today will be harvested by our children. What will our children face if we live in ignorance? What will our children reap if we do not stand up and call forth Peace in all layers of our life on this Earth.

All day long, I am with my children. Sometimes I feel I might as well be a referee and envision myself in a black and white striped uniform. But, I realized that in a way, I was being passive by just being a referee. So my job as a mom is to guide my girls to discover non-violent, non-black/white, non-right/wrong , non-winner/loser ways of moving through their disagreements. For me, that is a path of Peace. Every little time we choose a non-violoent and peaceful resolution among ourselves, the more Peace is birthed into the World. The more children that grow up practicing Peaceful resolution, the closer we come to ending War and the violence and destruction that comes with it. If we know how to resolve our conflicts peacefully, then why would we need war? When the parts of our children that can do this are encouraged and nurtured, then we truly do come one step closer to core social change. We have to question our own core too. We as a generation have been raised to win or lose and to be either right or wrong. But, what about the gray that lies between your truth and my truth. I believe that truth always is somewhere in the gray. We just have to be open to listen to each other and find it.

I try to model empathy for my girls in all my ways. I try to model non-violent communication and peaceful resolution. I am human and fall short. I have to start over and begin again. But, even in how I make mistakes, my girls are watching me. So I feel it is important to acknowledge to them when I do fall short. But, it is never too late to start over and begin anew with fresh intention and clear heart. Empathy and compassion for ourselves and others is so key for there to be Peace. So as a mother, I nurture empathy and compassion in my daughters. Even when they are most angry with each other, I try to help them stop and take a moment to reconnect to their love for their sister. Sometimes I do this by asking them to remember the day that their sister was born and how they felt holding her for the first time. I know that when I became a mother how I viewed other people changed. From the point of giving birth to my firstborn, each person I encountered now became some mother’s baby. At one point, each of us was once an innocent and divinely perfect baby. Each of us still holds an essence of that baby we arrived on Earth as.

So I guess when I look at Peace this way, I can get so frustrated when Peace is not talked about because it is "political." Yes, we can take political actions toward Peace. But, Peace itself is not political. It saddens me when because of the risk of possibly offending someone we do not talk about what is going on or how we feel. We do not talk about something so key to our children’s futures as promoting peaceful resolutions to conflict. Sometimes peaceful resolution takes longer then falling back on loser/winner ways of solving our problems. But, when we take that time and are patient, no one loses. I guess that brings up another key element to creating Peace- patience.

So as a mother, I commit to nurturing empathy, compassion, patience, listening, and a positive outlook in my daughters. I hope one day they will pass to their children these same qualities. I also will not shy from talking about Peace because of the "political" conotations. My children’s future are too important for me to be silent. But, just as I teach my children to listen, I too will listen to others and their views. The truth lies in the gray and I am a patient woman.

--Tommasina Marlow Lash